George Carlin - Three Little Words | Текст песни

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• George Carlin
• Three Little Words

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Hey! I've got 341 days over and next year's my 50th anniversary in show business...
...so let's do a fucking show! Huh?
You know some people don't talk about' em in public anymore? Pussyfarts!
So, anyway...
I said that on my last HBO show and apparently some people don't know what a pussyfart is...!
...'cause I got some inquiries...
Here's the deal!
A pussyfart is like when you're making love to a woman...
...who's got a little extra air in her vagina...
...and every time you thrust forward there's kind of a...
And the two of you, just lyin' there, each is wonderin' if the other one farted...
And the man is usually thinking: "Maybe she farts when she comes!"
"Maybe she took a shit!"
"Man, I gotta stay out of that fucking bar!"
Another word you don't hear too often is "Dingleberries!"
You know? You never hear it in "Meet the Press?"
The dingleberry solution, the dingleberry-gate... Nothing!
I guess this is 'cause "dingleberries" is one of them words you don't say too much past your tenth birthday!
It't not a grown-up's word! It's a kid's word! "Dingleberries!"
Always sounded kinda Christmasy to me!
Won't you say there's a holiday ring to it? "Dingleberries!"
"John, you may want to hang some dingleberries over the front door!"
"And when Mary Ann comes over she can kiss you under the Dingleberries!"
It is to be devoutedly wished that she would kiss me...
...under the Dingleberries!
"Cornhole" is another word you don't hear enough!
You don't hear that nearly enough, you know! It's a good word! A solid word!
It's a tough word! It's a man's kind of word! It's got a masculine sound!
Like "shotgun", and "ashcan", and "tow-truck"...!
"Cornhole!"
Everything's been sanitized now, and cleaned up! First with these fucking Christians, let's just start with them!
Let's not leave out these PC campus liberal assholes! They're just as fucking bad from a different direction!
But's everything's different! Everything's been polished up! It's "anal intercourse", "anal rape!"
Bullshit! Cornhole!
I'm a big fan of the prime time crime shows...
...I like all of them pretty much, you know, I like "Law and Order", and all the spin-offs of that...
I like "CSI", and all of those spin-offs, 'cause they're forensic shows, you know?
And I'm just waiting for one night to be sitting there watching one of them shows, and...
...the chief medical examiner turns to the lead detective and say "Steve..."
"Looks to me like that after they killed this guy the perpretators rolled him over and cornholed him about thirty or forty fucking times..."
"And there's a posthumous multiple cornhole entry wound!"
In prison it's a social activity!
Yeah, it's right there on the bulletin board! "Checkers, handball, cornholing!"