George Carlin - Posthumous Female Transplants | Текст песни

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• George Carlin
• Posthumous Female Transplants

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But these are the kind of things I think about when I'm sitting home alone, during an electrical storm, waiting for the parole officer to give me a call...
...and these ideas come floating into my head! Just floating right in! Unbidden!
I'm not asking for these things! I'm a vessel!
I'm a mere vessel! In come these thoughts! And some of them are a little offbeat!
I'm gonna grant you that! I was thinking about these younger women who got buried today!
You ever think about them? Probably not!
But I was thinking about these younger women who died three or four days ago, got buried today...
And some of them had a bad heart, you know? Some of them had a bad kidney...
...but a lot of them had perfectly good pussies!
Good pussies, nice tits, reasonably tight assholes...!
Going to waste! In the ground!
It just seems a shame to me!
That some fine young pussy...!
...should be rotting away six feet under!
Because you'd think, in this era...
...that if you can donate a heart...
...to someone who needs one...
...there oughta be a way to recycle some of these pussies...
And get them to people who need them! Some old guy living up in the mountains! "Whoa...!"
"Holy shit! Look at this fucking thing! This is great! Thank you very much, sir! I appreciate this! Thank you, thank you!
Thank you! God bless you! You're doing God's work! I hope you know that! Don't you?
Hey, this is better than Publisher's Clearing House!
Listen here, buddy... You ain't got a red-head of one of this, by any chance, don't you?
No, I didn't think so! I never had one of them myself, thank you very much...!
Listen here, this is the real thing, ain't it? This ain't one of them storebook pussies you see at the old bookstore?
Huh? What's that? Oh, OK! Hold on! Just a second! Whoa...!
Jesus Christ on a cracker! That's the real fucking thing!
I'd recognize that son of a bitch anywhere! That straightened out my nose hairs!
I'd better get this sucker home and get into the refrigerator quick as I can!
The "Save-A-Pussy Foundation!" Give the gift that keeps on giving!
Fuck the whales! Save the pussy!
But you wouldn't wanna... Oh, maybe... You wouldn't wanna save all of them!
Not all of them! Some of them are worn out!
Oh, you wouldn't want one of them big old rubbery things! That ain't no good!
What you want is something nice and tight, but flexible!
Maybe they have an age limit! Or a mileage check!
You know, you figure out the average length of the average dick, the average number of thusts per event, the average number of events per lifetime... You've got that lady's mileage!
And you women, I don't want you to think I wanna leave you out of the fun! We're gonna get you a nice set of cock and balls, OK?
We'll get you something nice just after rigor mortis sets in!
Tell the truth, ladies! Wouldn't you like a nice set of cock and balls without all the bullshit that comes with them? Huh? Fucking-A!
We'll get you something nice to keep it on the nightstand! It's really easy to find in the dark!
And if your mother comes over... Put a hat on it!
Well, somebody's got to think of these things! Apparently, I've been appointed!