Dan Howell - Roast Yourself | Текст песни

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• Dan Howell
• Roast Yourself

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a month without uploading
he comes back with the tag
that no one even tagged him in
he's not a challenge to drag
so prepare for an attack
and by that i mean cringe
'cause this motherfucker's bout to get
DRAGGED BY HIS FRINGE
first things first you're freakishly tall
it's weird you look like a noodle
you've got hair that was cool in 2007
and wet you look just like a poodle
throw in a really annoying posh voice and
yup that's dan
you're what would happen if winnie the pooh
fucked slenderman
you procrastinate making videos
'cause being judged is scary
you're so close to being forgotten
the hate's imaginary
the only reason you get views
is you're another white guy
that people ship with his friend
'cause they think it's kawaii
oh?
*reasons why dan's a fail*
i'll give you some
you never tweet
you overeat
all you do is cry and sleep
your jokes are shitposts and memes
with no originality
your family's sad you flopped
your law degree at at university
and anything embarrassing that's from your past
you just delete
you were vegan for like three weeks
than what? you missed the meat?
wow i'm so impressed
by your clear moral intedrity
you try so hard to be peaceful
and diplomatic
but can't make toast without tumblr
saying you're problematic
i could go on
there's more if i check
there's more things on this list
THAN CHINS ON YOUR NECK
on your birthday you joked you were
a quarter way to death?
a hundred? yeah
when getting out of the bed makes you out of breath?
so your celebrity crush was j-law
but now it's evan p?
wtf even is your sexuality
it's hard to put you in a box
when you keep it so blurry
i think it's just to hide
that you're secretly a furry
*cough*
i'm joking
obviously
okay that went deep
repress it?
yup!
before i start crying
let's wrap this shit up
i'm gonna go and masturbate
then cry into a slice of pizza
feelings
shout out to the other youtubers
especially ryan higa
a cringe compilation
mixed with cultural appropriation
met with with no depreciation
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so leave a comment with your reaction
you can call me a liar
'cause you just withessed the roast
of danisnotonfire