Bo Burnham - What's Funny | Текст песни

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• Bo Burnham
• What's Funny

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My show's a little bit silly, and a little bit pretentious like Shakespeares willy, or Noam Chomsky wearing a strap on. Its also a little bit gay, and a little bit offensive,
like Thanksgiving Day, or Noam Chomsky wearing a strap on.
So put your cell phones to vibrate, and put your vibrators to cell phone mode.

Welcome to the show it goes a little bit like this: JOKE [silence]....exactly.
Welcome to my flow it flows a little bit like this with a rap and a diss, and a swift wrap of the wrist, a wrap in kiss like Hershey's Wrap in a Kiss, shit I got a show that will test you kids, and it asks one question, and the question is whats funny, whats funny whats funny whats funny, whats funny whats funny whats funny, funny, fu-funny.

Humor is often linked to shared experience. like a guy gets up and says have you noticed
that public bathrooms have really inefficient hand dryers. Oh my god, yes i have, ha ha ha, really good point, they should fix that. Its good to know someone finally gets me. Because the wife divorced me, which proportionally forced me to lose all sense of self. So its nice to think about hand dyers and not that cheating whore.

Because standup comedy is actually pretty easy. If youre an asian comic just get up and say my mothers got the weirdest fucking accent, then just a Chinese accent, everybody laughs at the Chinese accent. Cause they privately thought that your people were laughable and now youve given them the chance to express that in public.

Yeah oh, and if youre a musical comic, just give em a little weird voice inflection. Then take a Viagra and slap em with a rock-hard misdirection. Whats funny, whats funny whats funny whats funny, whats funny whats funny whats funny, funny, fu-funny. TOURETTES.

Ohhhh and the audience says, when I was a baby, maybe I laugh at people jiggling keys. Now I'm older and bolder just get mad cause I notice that the keys are to a hummer. Fuck my life, I don't fuck my wife, so fuck my wife, and fuck my life and my son is gay, but not sitcom gay. My daughters a whore like another girl who used to be her mother.
But the marriage made her a Miss Mary Americana, I want a teen but that screams primadonna. But the radical feminists made my wife a man.

Oh, and if die happy, the situation will be autoerotic asphyxiation. I hate my life and it hates me back. And my friend is black, but I don't know what to call him, so I just call him \"What's up Jamal\" even though his name is Steve.

Hate my job I hate my life, hate my kids I hate my wife, even though I do it, Judas beat me to it. Im slowly slipping into a coma, and I masturbate because Im the only one whose standards are low enough to fuck me.

Whats funny, whats funny whats funny whats funny, whats funny whats funny whats funny, funny, fu-funny.
*Pop* Its a boy! whats funny, whats funny whats funny whats funny, whats funny whats funny whats funny, funny, oh, yeah hopefully this.