The books you think I wrote are way too thick Who needs a thousand metaphors to figure out you shouldn't be a dick And I don't watch you when you sleep Surprisingly I don't use my omnipotence to be a fucking creep
You're not going to heaven Why the fuck would you think Id ever kick it with you None of you are going to heaven There's a trillion aliens cooler than you
You shouldn't abstain from rape just because you think that I want you to You shouldn't rape because rape is a fucked up thing to do (It's pretty obvious just don't fucking rape people)
And don't think masturbation is obscene Its absolutely natural and the weirdest fucking thing ive ever seen You make my job a living hell I send gays to fix overpopulation, boy did that go well
You're not going to heaven Eat a thousand crackers sing a million hymns None of you are going to heaven You're not my children you're a bad games of Sims
You shouldn't abstain from pork just because you think that I want you to You can eat pork, because why the fuck would I give a shit? (I created the universe, do you think im drawing the line at the fucking deli isle?)
You argue and you bicker and you fight Atheist, Catholics, Jews and Hindus argue day and night Over what they think is true But no one entertains the thought that maybe god does not believe in you
You pray so badly for heaven Knowing any day might be the day that you die But maybe life on earth could be heaven Doesn't just the thought of it make it worth the try
My love is the type of thing that you have to earn And when you earn it, you won't need it (2x)
I'm not going to give you love just because I know that you want me to If you want love then love is gonna come from you
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