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someone's been sending me flowers
oh what a sweet thing to do
every new day brings another bouquet
and i don't know who to say thank you to
sometimes they're thrown through my window
or down through my chimney they fall
sometimes at night, when i've turned out the light,
they come through a crack in the wall
now that my house is a garden
bursting with blossoms in bloom
i stand there for hours, admiring my flowers
i'd like to lie down, but there just isn't room
someone's been sending me flowers
more than i ever have had
remarkable stuff, but enough is enough
if i see another bouquet, i'll go mad
he started by sending me Bluebells
oddly enough, they were gray
each faded bloom had a nasty perfume
besides being gray, they were papier-mache
there followed a garden of fungus
and then, as a tropical treat
he sent me a plant that proceeded to pant
and later began to eat meat
the cactus corsage touched me deeply
a beautiful plant in its prime
i felt much the same when the rock garden came
one rock at a time
somebody madly adores me
i know not whom to suspect
since i cannot afford to be madly adored
i do wish you'd stop sending flowers collect
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